Adventures in Dating

Dating at age 59 is not easy.  Seems like most men my age are looking for, and dating, women in their 30's and 40's.  Geez, what chance do I have. The only place for people my age to really meet single people of the opposite sex is online dating sites. Kind of like catalog shopping.  I have ruled out anyone that doesn't live within 20 miles of me.  Even though Canadian is just a few miles away, the whole border crossing thing is a pain in the arse.  

 I recently had a couple dates with a very sweet man, who was actually a few years younger than me.  On the first date I was very hopeful.  It was pleasant, although I carried and directed the conversational ball.  Other than sitting there and smiling he really didn't have much to say or talk about.  Except his gardens.  Period.  High on his plus points was the fact that he seemed to think I was great.  

I highly suspect he hadn't had a date since his wife died 10 years ago.  He had no idea what to do.  We went to a movie the second date.  I was terrified he would try to hold my hand, so I kept my Coke in my hand closest to him.  I was terrified he would try and hold my hand.  I haven't been that nervous since 6th grade when my first love took me to the movies for the first time.   He did suggest dinner after the movie, but I made a lame excuse that I had eaten just before the movie and wasn't hungry.  Bad, huh?

One of the guys I had a few online conversations with actually came into work last week.  I didn't realize it was him until just as he was leaving and he made some comments about what he did for a living and I saw his name on a document.  He looked completely different than his pictures.  Actually better.  I had never told him where I worked so it was a complete coincidence.  I am not sure if he knew who I was.  I suspect he recognized me, but did not know where he had seen me before.  Or, maybe it dawned on him at the end of our interaction like it did me.  Haven't heard from him, so guess he wasn't impressed.

I don't know how some women are able to date and/or marry a man they don't love just so they have a partner or for companionship or money.  When someone doesn't float my boat I can in no one pretend or hide my true feelings from them.  

The reason I am single is becoming increasingly clear, but I will continue until I overcome my terror of a date.